Cory Spondent, our adventurous correspondent, reports on a curious, if improbable, cause for the UK's recent heatwave—a beleaguered Triumph Stag.
Contrary to expectations, leading meteorologists have pinpointed not atmospheric patterns, but a 1970s Triumph Stag as the source of Britain's rising temperatures. Trapped in traffic, this classic British car is reportedly spewing enormous amounts of heat due to its struggling engine.
Experts caution that if the mustard-colored Stag remains gridlocked and its engine continues to sizzle, it might push the UK's thermometers to unprecedented levels.
The owner of the infamously hot Stag remains unfazed:
- Denial: "What heatwave? It’s always like this. Right?"
- Adaptation: "I just pop the roof down so everyone can see my trendy Triumph cap."
- Ignorance: "Sure, the view gets ‘hazy’ from the V8’s power. Add some coolant, change the pump, and I'll manage. Right?"
- Paranoia: "Was that the timing chain I just heard?"
Adding to the chaos, a nearby Jaguar E-Type is also overheating. Instead of addressing the issue, the owner focuses on charming fellow motorists.
In an unexpected twist, meteorologists blame a traffic-stricken Triumph Stag for the UK's intense heatwave. While this claim may lack scientific backing, it highlights the quirks of classic car ownership amid scorching temperatures.
